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♥ Friday, January 21, 2005
7:55 PM

i'm sick. yesh. physically n mentally sick. realli realli sick. this morning i woke up.. like wanna faint back liddat. got a bad bad headache. then after my bath, i was having a bad bad cold. but still.. no one cares. NO ONE. no one at all.. haiya.. these days.. i always fell like crying de.. see.. now.. haiya.. forget it.. he'll never come back. why did i let him go..? *sobx* i'm tryin so hard to be strong each day..

why do i have to lie that i hate him? why do i have to lie that i wan to forget him..? i never wanna lose him. never. in fact now.. i realli realli miss him.. i dunno whu to share my sorrows with. like i say.. no one really care. this is how i realli feel now..

he's always on my mind. from the time i wake up. till i close my eyes. he's everywhwere i go.. he's all i know. and though he's soo far away.. it just keeps getting stronger, everyday. and even now she's gone. i'm still holding on. so tell me where do i start. cos it's breakin' my heart. dont wanna let him go. maybe he'll come back someday. but only heaven knows. n maybe our hearts will find a way. all i can do is hope n pray. why i live in despair? cos wide awake or dreamin'. i know he's never there. and all the time.. i have to act soo brave. i'm cryin inside. why does it hurt me so?..

[got some lines from a lyrics of the song i like. ]

i know he'll never ever gonna read this. but this's excatly how i realli feel. i know.. he'll never come back..